After Mr. And Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs.Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a
bag of M&M's on layaway.
5. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department ...
7. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker,he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least.
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-Mart
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3 comments:
Where did you get that one Leslie, awesome. I have cried non-stop today, reading this was the first time I laughed today!
Brenda
P.S. Do you ever wonder why in dressing rooms,during swimsuit season, there are those sani-strips from bathing suits ALWAYS pasted somewhere on a wall? Perhaps it was the Mr.
We WILL amuse ourselves. It's in our DNA
alright mrs. landrum where the heck did you find this?!?!? I have showed like everybody this because it is pretty much the FUNNIEST thing EVER!!!!
~Jane
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